of my psychosomatic dream.

woke up around dawn this morning, dont remember why—might've been duty calling or thirst. anyway i go back to bed and live one of the most deranging real-like dreams ever.
i usually can awake myself from freaky moments, but this time i was completely immersed in it, thinking it was true...
it starts with an image of reality; i am (still) watching my tv that notoriously stays on all night long. a spectre takes shape in front of it, slowly, from a kind of see-through mist to a clearer suggestion of full limbs into a physical solid form of an upper body i don't recall a full body... i'm seeing it from the back, the figure turns suddenly towards me, screaming, it looks like an asian/japanese woman with an eery manga like face, disfigured by anger and rage. the spectre runs towards me, i am still lying in bed, and starts stabbing me in the chest; each stab is more and more real, i actually feel pain and incredible pressure on the chest. i want to scream and free myself, and as always can't. feeling my body completely trapped in paralysis, while in my head i'm climbing up the walls. i am desperately trying to scream but am completely dumb. i also remember wanting to call my dad's name while usually, in circumstances like these, i call out for my mother's. at that moment, i remember feeling that there's no point in fighting it, and that i should better give up, it is then that the angry spectre disappears.. i actually think am dying. i feel another presence next to my bed, in the same misty form as the angry jap bitch. strangely, i am in deep belief that it is my brother. the misty form starts materializing from the hand, to the upper arm, without really fully taking shape. i reach for the hand, and it is feeling real; it is my brother's hand, skinny but strong with its characteristic protruding veins... it feels so real, i am actually holding his hand... and then i wake up, heart beating erratically, sweaty, alone in my room, the history of rock'n roll lightening up the room.