22.11.06

conspiracy theories

i've been reading all morning some blogs i've come to know during the july war. they are brilliant at analyzing current events. it is sad to read people commenting and trying to solve the issue. who did what, who is truly gaining profit of the assassination...
when people go into trying to discover hidden reasons, under-the-table behind-closed-doors deals, conspiracy theories; do they not know that they are serving the perpetrators. a voyage into the dark world of conspiracy theories—audience discretion is advised against absurdity.

theory 1—the most obvious
the syrians killed Gemayel as to weaken and threaten the health of the current government

theory 2—the less obvious, conspiracy theory at a first level, a counter argument to 1
the current government kills Gemayel, trying to frame the opposition.
they do it to give legitimacy to their government, to the brammertz commission and to put the opposition in a tough spot—especially when the opposition was preparing to go to the streets.
this argument is easy, la preuve, suleiman frangié proposed it.

theory 3—the even less obvious, conspiracy theory at a 2nd level, a counter argument to 2
the opposition kills gemayel, trying to frame the government.
this strategy relies on the conspiracy theorists of the first level who will ensure the propagation of argument 2, which is the main idea the opposition wants to spread. the opposition gains support of skepticals who would've been able to foresee argument 2; and hence gives legitimacy to its claims of underachievement and illegitimacy of the current ministerial corps.
this argument is a bit forcé; but current governement supporters need to fight fire with fire.

theory 4—the not so obvious, conspiracy theory at a 3rd level, a counter argument to all other theories
the 3rd current lebanese movement—the one thats not the new opposition nor the new government—kills Gemayel, trying to divide the 2 more powerful clans.
the alternative movement is trying to weaken the 2 other clans, hoping some sparks will be able to ignite further tensions between the two, in the hopes of presenting itself as an impartial transparent replacement for both clans.
a desperate attempt to enter the more serious political scene you say? well yes... but here the question rises: are they the perpetrators of only this murder or the whole bunch of them eversince the attempt on hamade?!? the plot thickens my friends... that 3rd alternative movement is indeed made of has-been politicians... wahahahaahHHAHA, i burst in laughter as i am striking the thick white hair of my persian cat
this argument offers a wholistic explanation of our recent history in murders and power struggles.

theory 5—the not obvious at all, conspiracy theory at a 4th level, no theory even compares
el ossa akbar menna! el moo2amara kbireh! the americans killed gemayel.
george w bush, afraid of the rising democrats and afraid losing his position, with and through the israelis, drowns the country in this chaotic state hoping for another war, in which he can squeeze himself to guarantee a re-election— if not for himself for the republicans; the don't change horses in mid-stream strategy. he needs an axis to fight something (everybody needs an axis): the brits are bored with their blair, and hence bush has to find another ally that he could find in sarkosy, the french elections are due next march. a new axis can be created to fight terrorism. where to find terrorism u ask? iraq is saturated, jordan is their bitch, egypt and syria are out of the question, but wait! there is a small country of indestructible little stupid warriors who get drifted into civil war every now and then; a small country that can be easily divided thanks to a magical potion called sectarianism! hurray the solution is there!!! they pose terrorism as a problem there, and they already did; lebanese politicians started using the term.
And tataaaaa happy republicans everywhere!

am tired...
but i think we can come up with more... spielberg needs a new subject for his next movie, hollywood producers leading the world... yes... yes... am on to something there...

sniff sniiff i can smell something weird... sniff sniff... the smell of stupidity...

when will people stop wasting their time and fight for their civic rights instead of the feodal politicians of ours? when will they wake up?
when i count to three i'll snap my fingers and u will wake up... 1... 2... 3...

8 comments:

Anonymous said...

Keep posting!!! I check everyday to see if you have something new...

Anonymous said...

Here's an extra mou2amara for you: The Americans killed Amin Gemayel to confuse the opposition and force them to refrain from going to the street for demonstrations that will tople the government. In fact, every time the opposition will try to topple the government, the americans will kill one of the opposition people (who are America's allies given the teenage chats that Sanioura and Condy have every night).. If the opposition keeps saying that they wil demonstrate we can be sure that the Americans will soon find themselves without any of their allies... because they would have killed them all...

Josette ZOoz Khalil said...

i like it! more mou2amaras please!!
more! more!!!!

Anonymous said...

As per your request, here is yet another. The March 14 Forces needed a way to stop Hezbollah from going to the streets (enough for them to kick start the int. tribunal) so if they kill one of their own then can pin it on Syria and buy the time they need.
The Syrians decided that if they kill Pierre, the majority would be quick to accuse them and since they have most to gain (since hezbollah can't go to the streets just yet), Hezbollah will claim that the march 14 forces did this to themselves hence worsening the already crappy relationship between M-14-F and Hezbollah.. cue civil war...
So they each sent a gunman who coincidentally happened to meet up with the CIA gunman already there. The each took a shot and they all went for beers later.

Anonymous said...

here's a theory i go for:

Pierre commited the suicide! he shot himself in the head from outside the window. your simplistic mind asks "why would he do such a horrific thing to himself?"

answer is: so that his father takes his place as a deputy, and runs for president!

you might find this stupid: but some people here in the kingdom sees it as a very probable scenario.

WHAT DO I THINK?

I think that the reason behind the killing is as simple as the act itself: straight to the point!

after the resignation of the opposition's ministers, the goverment was on the verge of collapse if only two more ministers quit, died or got killed. so Pierre Gemayel was one of them, and yet another one has to fall or quit.

I believe that all of the above sequences are syncronized and cannot be isolated.

The opposition is backed today by Iran (which is an emerging regional super power). Iran has a political agenda that it need to implant in the region. Syria comes as a natural ally, since they know the people, cultures and all of the backbones of the neighbouring countries. what are their plan to regain control of the Middle east?

Terrorism and gang fights are a crucial factor that will strenghten Iran's role in the region. what the U.S. cannot solve, Iran will solve : hence, the weaker states will see in Iran as a powerfull friend that has to offer what the U.S. couldn't.

Saddly this is what happened in Lebanon and what will continue to happen: the Siniora goverment is fully backed by the U.S. (that we all know). the Siniora goverment has a minimal grasp on the security issues (that we all know). BUT why Hezbollah and his weaker allies will gain from getting into this goverment?

Most of the security issues in Lebanon are still being reported to Syrian intelligence. The opposition will benefit from the help of the syrian intelligence to dimish the frequency of these acts. Hence, achieving security for the citizens. what will be the achievment: the pro-US goverment couldn't accomplish security, BUT our participation within this goverment was able to achieve this security.

Next day, siniora is gone and another Pro-Iran/syrian PM is assigned.

The Pro-U.S. era ends, and begins a new one : the New Middle East!

Anonymous said...

personally, I think this is all a big load of B.S. until someone can give a real evidence. a real one, for once. People kept falling one after another and yet there is no single piece of REAL evidence. it's almost impossible.

anyway, for your reading pleasure, here is another interesting article by Patrick Seale...
Gemayel, Syria, Israel and the War in Iraq

PS: but again, all is B.S. until a tangible evidence comes out.

Anonymous said...

khalas the fans of Patrick Seal!

He's starting to repeat himself!!

Falajna!

We hate Patrick Seal!

Khalas!

nbr5 said...

in fact everyone in politics is repeating himself. everyone. no exceptions.