Well, it's been a long long time

more than a year since my last post. over two years since a serious blog post.
I've been busy, true.
I've been swamped and distracted, true.
I've been lost too, true.
And now, i am tired, exhausted, and confused.
Lately my mind has been one big muddle of tangled thoughts and vague recollections, unclear logic and sloppy reasoning. I feel i am stumbling on the decisions, as if there is either something pushing me around, or i am overcome by everything that could come my way. I feel everything is so random.

I am at a point where my decisions could be clearer, i have the opportunity now to choose and pick, and i find my mind unable to supply my choices with the least bit of lucidity.

I cannot find the part of me that used to give me confidence to push through. i have lost the one thing i used to think gave me the assurance to voice out my opinions. i find myself requestioning my decisions, and double-guessing the hidden intentions of my unconscious.
I find my reactions unappropriate, my discussions undeserving, my positions unfitting.
And after all the bashing, i still have no pity for who i am, and no esteem for whom i'd become. And not to mention, no explanation for how i came to become what i am.

Now that i've said what i've said, i realize i have no hobbies anymore, no extra-curricular activities, no personal life, no interests, and no personal growth.
The difference between the ZOoz of 2008 and the ZOoz of 2010 is blindening.
I have to take action.

--and now enter the most random feeling and thought:
Facebook has replaced my thoughts and occupied with it socialite gossip trash.--
i shall leave that thought here, and come to ponder of it for the next week, and we'll all pick up then where my avalanche of randomness has left me.