Today rudz left for bahrain.
i'm gonna miss that obnoxious loveable brother of mine. but he'll visit soon, and i will try to visit him too. but i still hate it. who's gonna feed me his toes every now and then? who? maybe i can pay someone... haha...
yalla, mitl ma wade3it le2eh ya rabb.
w la3allahoo khayrann.
w allah ywaf2o.
w hoowwa el adar.
shoo fina na3mil.
ba7oobbak radroud. bit7ibbini aah?
———
the screening went very well. our animation was well received. i'll youtube it soon and post the link. it felt good, instant gratification. it made this horrendous week more bearable. i've been swimming or should i say drowning in a badly remunerated and super rushed job. story of my life. i sometimes wonder if i'm made for design services; i should go ifta7 a dekkaneh and live more peacefully. clients are unbearable, no matter how sweet, funny and understanding; a designer cannot but end up hating his client. or maybe that's just me. i think it's a psychological block i have; i cannot be told what to do. ever since i was a kid. maybe that's why it's a bad career choice; i'm not psychologically predisposed to slave for other people. but that leaves me with very few career options... plus to add to the refusal of slaving i have an unconscious need to be liked; or at least to please people around me. i don't mind being hated, but when i do my job i keep worrying how the work reflects on me, not personnally, but the designer.
i have very deep issues that need professional help.
———
akh ya rud...
ntebih 3a 7alak khayyo. show them what u r made of.
missage and loveage.
30.9.06
25.9.06
"Lawein" in Namleh At3a
it brings me tremendous pleasure to announce that our long awaited yeah, right... animation will be screened during the 1st Namleh At3a event entitled "Shoot the War".
The event will take place this wednesday in Masra7 Al Madina, Hamra at 8.15 pm
21.9.06
Beirut on September 21, 2006
corporate money-making life has taken its toll. i have no time for myself, for special interests and no time for pondering. i have been bombarded by things to do and matters to finish. i am tired. my mind is numb and i cannot create. i cannot think. i cannot cook. cook rice, zoozoo! alfie would say. but zoozoo no can cook, i would reply. and now i am deafened by some cheap aouny song. every 2 days one of those bastard parties of ours has to bore us with their speeches, deafen us with their cheap music and overly nationalistic songs. ideology should die.
———
am back to my studio. hurray. no longer a mhajjara. i like it. is calmer than it used to be, except for the odd aouny song (aounism has chosen an orange house next to sussssussudio). i discovered that rami, our beloved dekanjeh, has not left the building! he chose to rent the dekkaneh next to his previous one, coz it's more comfortable. so rami did not leave. that's a plus.
today i came to the studio, and found meemee sick in the bed. poor meemee she's been sick for some time. i offered to nurse her, but she refused like the independent girl she is.
i have a new fan. it looks akwardly new and hip for our old mostly-inherited and fourth-hand furniture. but it does its job beautifully. i should come up with a name for it. i welcome suggestions with open arms.
———
i have been going to ayyam beirut al sinama'iyah. some cool shit i've seen. i love these events. eeeevents. tghyeer jaww...
i worry about the screening of our animation. i'm increasingly getting convinced that it needed more work... damn... only thinking about it makes my head wanna blow... don't blow, head, i need u! i need u! i need uuuu! aargh!
———
am back to my studio. hurray. no longer a mhajjara. i like it. is calmer than it used to be, except for the odd aouny song (aounism has chosen an orange house next to sussssussudio). i discovered that rami, our beloved dekanjeh, has not left the building! he chose to rent the dekkaneh next to his previous one, coz it's more comfortable. so rami did not leave. that's a plus.
today i came to the studio, and found meemee sick in the bed. poor meemee she's been sick for some time. i offered to nurse her, but she refused like the independent girl she is.
i have a new fan. it looks akwardly new and hip for our old mostly-inherited and fourth-hand furniture. but it does its job beautifully. i should come up with a name for it. i welcome suggestions with open arms.
———
i have been going to ayyam beirut al sinama'iyah. some cool shit i've seen. i love these events. eeeevents. tghyeer jaww...
i worry about the screening of our animation. i'm increasingly getting convinced that it needed more work... damn... only thinking about it makes my head wanna blow... don't blow, head, i need u! i need u! i need uuuu! aargh!
12.9.06
Beirut on September 12, 2006
6 days since my last post, and i c that gardenia and god attracted a lot of fervent comments.
———
i would like to announce the adoption of Jurdenia. Chica, being the awesome friend that she is, decided to buy me a gardenia plant to make up for Gardenia. she bought it from the jurd, hence the name jurdenia. i felt bad for gardenia, i did not want it to think i was replacing her by new and preppy jurdenia; in that sense too, gardenia has an edge on jurdenia— gardenia is from the bourgeoisie and jurdenia, as her name connotes, is from the jurd al 3aleh and hence is a common peasant. see even in botanics, high society and bourgeois attitudes have their ways.
and so i adopted jurdenia on saturday 9th in sofar. left it on sunday, coz i had lunch in fallougha and sent it to beirut with chica as guardian, who failed miserably at guardianship as she left jurdenia at abou naji's. yes abou naji's; don't ask why, i didn't. if it wasn't for hannad, i don't think poor jurdenia would've left abou naji's. and now poor jurdenia awaits my pick up at the sinnos. i guess this little marathon is gonna make gardenia even more jealous, since it hasn't left the sussussudio's balcony since i put it there i dunno when; i need to find a way to make it up to her...
———
Chica and a3war left today.
fe came in on sunday.
we are finalizing our animation. we finished the music yesterday. and today we gonna wrap it up.
———
yesterday had my first steak sandwich from celtic since the end of the war. yumyum.
———
Chica's gifts did not stop at jurdenia, as she delivered me the long-awaited Thom Yorke. i love it. it's awesome. anyone who says any different is lying or he/she loves it and doesn't know it.
and fe... fe got me a radiohead tshirt, and sin city playing cards (although i never play cards), and a history of violence comic book... and he delivered me the stuff i bought from amazon and sent to his place a zillion year ago.
all and all i guess i received plenty of gifts these few days. i might even go out on a limb and say that it felt like my long-lost bday...
———
throbbing headache these last two days. god knows why.
———
today the US embassy in syria got ‘attacked’. what's happening?
what's happening in the south? what's happening in da7yeh? we don't hear anything anymore. as if nothing had happened... i extort some news and khabryett from a friend of mine who's working on the ground in 3ayta el sha3eb. it seems to be a bit messy when it comes to the help and compensations that we hear about...
the beaches are still a mess...
goddamn all of them. and blair even had the nerve to come to beirut to claim he supports beirut's reconstruction. fuck you and ur support, we still did not forget when it was that u felt ‘it was time for a ceasefire’. fuck you.
———
i would like to announce the adoption of Jurdenia. Chica, being the awesome friend that she is, decided to buy me a gardenia plant to make up for Gardenia. she bought it from the jurd, hence the name jurdenia. i felt bad for gardenia, i did not want it to think i was replacing her by new and preppy jurdenia; in that sense too, gardenia has an edge on jurdenia— gardenia is from the bourgeoisie and jurdenia, as her name connotes, is from the jurd al 3aleh and hence is a common peasant. see even in botanics, high society and bourgeois attitudes have their ways.
and so i adopted jurdenia on saturday 9th in sofar. left it on sunday, coz i had lunch in fallougha and sent it to beirut with chica as guardian, who failed miserably at guardianship as she left jurdenia at abou naji's. yes abou naji's; don't ask why, i didn't. if it wasn't for hannad, i don't think poor jurdenia would've left abou naji's. and now poor jurdenia awaits my pick up at the sinnos. i guess this little marathon is gonna make gardenia even more jealous, since it hasn't left the sussussudio's balcony since i put it there i dunno when; i need to find a way to make it up to her...
———
Chica and a3war left today.
fe came in on sunday.
we are finalizing our animation. we finished the music yesterday. and today we gonna wrap it up.
———
yesterday had my first steak sandwich from celtic since the end of the war. yumyum.
———
Chica's gifts did not stop at jurdenia, as she delivered me the long-awaited Thom Yorke. i love it. it's awesome. anyone who says any different is lying or he/she loves it and doesn't know it.
and fe... fe got me a radiohead tshirt, and sin city playing cards (although i never play cards), and a history of violence comic book... and he delivered me the stuff i bought from amazon and sent to his place a zillion year ago.
all and all i guess i received plenty of gifts these few days. i might even go out on a limb and say that it felt like my long-lost bday...
———
throbbing headache these last two days. god knows why.
———
today the US embassy in syria got ‘attacked’. what's happening?
what's happening in the south? what's happening in da7yeh? we don't hear anything anymore. as if nothing had happened... i extort some news and khabryett from a friend of mine who's working on the ground in 3ayta el sha3eb. it seems to be a bit messy when it comes to the help and compensations that we hear about...
the beaches are still a mess...
goddamn all of them. and blair even had the nerve to come to beirut to claim he supports beirut's reconstruction. fuck you and ur support, we still did not forget when it was that u felt ‘it was time for a ceasefire’. fuck you.
6.9.06
Death of Gardenia
Gardenia is dying.
see the proof for urselves.
who would believe this is how Gardenia looked not so long ago.
am so sad. is so dead. that first pic was taken after i shedded all its leaves. they were all brown and dead.
gardenia is dying.
i cut all the little branches, and they were all dry. no green stuff inside. i kept cutting shorter and shorter until i saw green. it was a little. not much.
israelis killed gardenia.
today was also sad. i spent some time in the studio. after the desolating gardenia incident, i decided to go to the fridge, see what's inside. i was hoping for some cold beverage. no beer, but one crush. i took the crush and decided to go out on my big balcony and let myself swing on our hammock we all love that hammock, bello put it up for us. he's a sweetheart bello. ‘u're a doll, bello!’ it is then that i noticed the most horrendous heartbreaking truth of the day: Rami, the dekkanjeh, had left. his dekkane was empty. there was nothing in it, not a teeny tiny thing, not a left over chips bag, not a piece of paper laying around, not an empty bottle of water. nothing. clean as clean can be. well there was a bit of dust on the glass, but clean. it made me sad. rami was gone. of course i wondered who'll pay our bills when we're not home, but that aint it. he's gone. the situation was so bad for him that he had to close down his shop. he seemed as a darwish 2edameh guy, we all loved him. what was he doing now. i hope he's doing fine.
goddamn that war.
to the last shitty news of the day. my lil' cousin's back in the hospital. again. he's got some weird rash on his face and his face is all swollen up because of his tooth's infection.
poor burreem, goddamn u god. yes u damn urself, god. u do that.
u know what if god really exists, i think god is a hater. he just hates. there's no love. there's only hate.
see the proof for urselves.
who would believe this is how Gardenia looked not so long ago.
am so sad. is so dead. that first pic was taken after i shedded all its leaves. they were all brown and dead.
gardenia is dying.
i cut all the little branches, and they were all dry. no green stuff inside. i kept cutting shorter and shorter until i saw green. it was a little. not much.
israelis killed gardenia.
today was also sad. i spent some time in the studio. after the desolating gardenia incident, i decided to go to the fridge, see what's inside. i was hoping for some cold beverage. no beer, but one crush. i took the crush and decided to go out on my big balcony and let myself swing on our hammock we all love that hammock, bello put it up for us. he's a sweetheart bello. ‘u're a doll, bello!’ it is then that i noticed the most horrendous heartbreaking truth of the day: Rami, the dekkanjeh, had left. his dekkane was empty. there was nothing in it, not a teeny tiny thing, not a left over chips bag, not a piece of paper laying around, not an empty bottle of water. nothing. clean as clean can be. well there was a bit of dust on the glass, but clean. it made me sad. rami was gone. of course i wondered who'll pay our bills when we're not home, but that aint it. he's gone. the situation was so bad for him that he had to close down his shop. he seemed as a darwish 2edameh guy, we all loved him. what was he doing now. i hope he's doing fine.
goddamn that war.
to the last shitty news of the day. my lil' cousin's back in the hospital. again. he's got some weird rash on his face and his face is all swollen up because of his tooth's infection.
poor burreem, goddamn u god. yes u damn urself, god. u do that.
u know what if god really exists, i think god is a hater. he just hates. there's no love. there's only hate.
4.9.06
Beirut on September 4, 2006
Beirut sunday 3rd of september 2006.
———
It has been sometime since i wrote. i've been so busy. there's the work, the animation and most importantly, the visiting friends. Hos was here and so is a3war. been going out every night. am tired of it. this last week's outings showed to be more crowded than the former week. there was more people and the balance monot/gemmayze/downtown has been restored. saturday night was jammed again in monot and in downtown, while it was ‘busy’ in gemmayze, there was no crazy traffic there, like the past week.
can't help but wonder if beirut is sliding back comfortably to its past self?
———
i've been seeing again the planes landing and taking off from my room. the now-not-so-comforting hum of their engines and my own favorite little twinkling lights fill the skies over beirut. planes... they used to represent to me freedom, discovery and excitement... and now they seem a bit deceiving, they're scared animals running away from the hunter. i heard qatar airways is going to force its landing in Beirut and challenge the embargo. it seems dangerous. although i highly encourage the idea theoratically, i can't help worrying about the most probably unknowing travellers sitting comfortably in their seats. man, would they be surprised if they saw, from their little portholes, the israeli air force forcing them out. force forcing seems awfully appropriate
———
i think people who have not seen the parliament's sit-in have missed a lot. it was like an uptight version of camp. the members of parliament went in with their bags wearing their suits, and u could see them sitting casually on the mattresses before preparing to their rightfully entitled nap.
i wonder whether they scared each other at night by telling scary stories of the israelis invading us and destroying our cities and 90% of our south over a nice bonfire while grilling their marshmallows.
———
It has been sometime since i wrote. i've been so busy. there's the work, the animation and most importantly, the visiting friends. Hos was here and so is a3war. been going out every night. am tired of it. this last week's outings showed to be more crowded than the former week. there was more people and the balance monot/gemmayze/downtown has been restored. saturday night was jammed again in monot and in downtown, while it was ‘busy’ in gemmayze, there was no crazy traffic there, like the past week.
can't help but wonder if beirut is sliding back comfortably to its past self?
———
i've been seeing again the planes landing and taking off from my room. the now-not-so-comforting hum of their engines and my own favorite little twinkling lights fill the skies over beirut. planes... they used to represent to me freedom, discovery and excitement... and now they seem a bit deceiving, they're scared animals running away from the hunter. i heard qatar airways is going to force its landing in Beirut and challenge the embargo. it seems dangerous. although i highly encourage the idea theoratically, i can't help worrying about the most probably unknowing travellers sitting comfortably in their seats. man, would they be surprised if they saw, from their little portholes, the israeli air force forcing them out. force forcing seems awfully appropriate
———
i think people who have not seen the parliament's sit-in have missed a lot. it was like an uptight version of camp. the members of parliament went in with their bags wearing their suits, and u could see them sitting casually on the mattresses before preparing to their rightfully entitled nap.
i wonder whether they scared each other at night by telling scary stories of the israelis invading us and destroying our cities and 90% of our south over a nice bonfire while grilling their marshmallows.
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